Chapter 70
Arielyn.
Kendrix was back with me, Rose was happily married and currently out of O-when for her honeymoon and everything was kind of fine but I couldn’t help the feeling that settled on me that everything wasn’t okay, for one, Ken was a lot calmer and barely said anything. We spent the whole of Sunday together doing couple things but I felt like he was not totally himself, it was as if something happened in Dilgem that he couldn’t bring himself to tell me, I didn’t want to be nosy so I just let him have his quiet time and hoped that he would get over what is wrong soon or at least talk to me about it. I did ask him if what he went to do was successful and he said it was, he even told me he got the Orient, which means he was almost done, all he had to do was hand it over to his father so I just couldn’t figure out why he was moody, withdrawn and sometimes lost in his thoughts.
Three days after Rose’s wedding, I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore, I knew he was hiding something from me and needed to know. We were in the living room alone, he was going through his phone while I watched TV, and I turned to him.
“Ken? Can I ask you something?”
I asked, going at it as softly as I could to make sure he didn’t feel pressured.
“What do you want to know?”
He asked, giving me his attention, I seriously considered just letting it be but then, the thought of sleeping next to him while knowing that he wasn’t totally himself didn’t sit well with me so I just asked.
“You have been acting different since you got back from Dilgem, at first, I didn’t want to overthink things but it has been that way for days now,”
I said and paused.
“Ken? What’s going on with you? You have been so quite recently,”
I asked. It took a moment for him to answer which further proved to me that something was indeed wrong.
“Nothing happened, I just have a lot going on in my mind,”
he replied but I couldn’t just rub off the feeling that something was up with him and he was trying to hide it away from me, I wished he saw me as a friend enough for him to confide in, I really wanted him to speak to me and share whatever is up with him with me because that was what I was here for.
“Are you sure? You have been acting as if you have something going on that is bothering you, I just want you to know that you can always talk to me, I might not have all the answers that you need but I will do my best,”
I told him. He looked at me for a moment and I thought he was finally going to say something to me but after a long pause, he shook his head without saying a word. I felt so disappointed as it was even more clear now that he definitely had something going on with him, he just didn’t see me as the right person to talk to about it. It hurt to see the person I care about not want to tell me what was wrong. I tried not to let the disappointment show.
“It’s nothing that you should concern yourself with,”
He said. I felt like he shut me out with that word which made it even worse because now I felt unwanted. I didn’t like the feeling at all and wished I hadn’t asked in the first place, at least I would have held onto the hope that he would tell me when he was ready but now that I know he doesn’t want to tell me, I suddenly didn’t want to be in his presence.
I got out of the chair and walked out of the living room, going upstairs to my room instead of his room that we had been using together since he got back. I laid on my bed, it felt strange because I hadn’t slept in it since Kendrix came back. it was hard not to be sad and angry; nothing was going the way I wanted. Since he returned, we have made love a couple of times and I wake up in his arms but he hasn’t once spoken about the fact that we were each other’s mate, it was as if that didn’t exist for him and it made everything even sadder for me because I was so sure that when he returned, we would finally be able to talk about it and maybe then, he would fall in love with me too but I was so wrong. A knock came on my door a couple of minutes later. I already knew who it was. That’s why I didn’t even bother to look when he opened the door. I heard him walk up to my bed but I ignored him completely.
“Ari? Why are you here? We have been sharing a room, why did you choose to sleep here?”
He asked. As if he didn’t know why, I couldn’t continue sleeping next to him knowing that he was keeping things to himself.
“I choose to sleep in my room, you shouldn’t have a problem with that, I mean our relationship is not that deep,”
I told him. Even my own words were hurtful to me.
“What are you talking about, Ari? What do you mean by our relationship is not that deep? Why would you say something like that?”
He asked, I got up from the bed, sat up, and faced him.
“Ken, I can’t sleep on the same bed with a man who is keeping shits from me, I know it might not be anything to you but I grew up watching around me, wondering if I did or said something wrong that might have made the few people who talk to me decide not to speak to me, I know something is up with you but you aren’t saying a word, I can’t deal with that,”
I told him.
“I already told you that it is nothing, why are you hellbent on making it out to be what it isn’t? I just have a lot on my mind and it has nothing to do with you, you haven’t done anything to me for you to be so worried and even choosing not to sleep on the same bed with me when we have been sharing a bed for days now, except you just want to pick a fight with me.”
I couldn’t believe he was getting angry right now, none of this would have been happening if he just said what was up with him.
“I am not trying to pick a fight with you, Kendrix, I don’t know why you are acting like this, am I wrong for trying to find out the problem and trying to help you out of it?”
I asked. I couldn’t tell why he was being so defensive and acting as if I told him to bare his heart for me. How did he expect us to sleep on the same bed and expect me to pretend that everything was good when he couldn’t even tell me the little things that trouble him.
“That’s what it seemed like to me because I told you already that it is nothing that you should concern yourself with, if you really want to help, you will come back to bed with me,”
He invited but I wasn’t ready to sleep on the same bed with him. I had self-pride, and I also knew when someone wasn’t telling the whole truth.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.
“No, I will sleep in my room, we aren’t lovers, we fucked a couple of times but now I want to sleep on my own bed,”
I told him right before I remembered I was in his house and he technically owned all the beds in the house.
“Is that how it is going to be? Won’t you at least give me the grace of sorting things out first before I tell you? What? We fucked a couple of times? Is that what you think our love-making was about?”
he asked. My heart skipped a beat when he said love but then I realized that would also not mean anything.
“Right, let’s say I give you grace and let you deal with whatever you have going on by yourself, what about the other shit? Do I have to wait for you to sort it all out before we talk about it too?”
I asked. He stared at me in confusion, he clearly had no idea what I was talking about.
“What are you talking about?”
He asked.
“The mate thing, we are mates, I found out the night we slept together for the first time, didn’t you feel it? I thought we would talk about it the next day but then you had something to do out of the country, but now you have been back for four days and you haven’t talked about it. Shouldn’t that be something we talk about too? I thought mating was an important part of the pack,”
I let out. I didn’t know much of how a pack works because of how I was isolated from everyone else, the only things I knew about being each other’s mates were what Win told me and what I read too. I only experienced the pull with Jordan but he rejected it and then after Ken and I slept together, I felt it again even though this time it was a lot stronger, maybe because I was already in love with him.