26
Part 26
Trent’s kisses never ceased to take my breath away. Everytime he put his lips on mine, it felt like my world stopped on its axis. Everything else ceased to exist except him and only him. The world around me dissolved into nothing, and I’m left with the feeling of his arms around me.
That was how his kisses always felt and that was exactly how this kiss felt like. I lost track of everything, lost the feeling of everything except the feeling of Trent’s lips on mine. There were no words to describe the joy my heart was aching to burst with, or the way his lips gliding over mine were sparking every neuron in my body. It was just him and his kisses in my mind, in my body and in my soul.
“You’re mine,” he murmured against my lips, slowly nipping at the bottom one.
I had no response for him, simply because I did not know what to say. My heart screamed yes while mind shouted no. I was in deep turmoil, and did know when this war between my heart and mind would cease. My heart was clearly overpowering my mind, but I knew deep inside me that I could not give in so easily.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.
“Be my girlfriend,” he stated, pulling away from me just a little so he could look in my eyes.
The statement shook me to my core. Did Trent just tell me to be his girlfriend? Was he asking me or telling me? Did he even know the difference between the two? No, he did not ask me to be his girlfriend. Why would he do that, he was my boss. No, I must’ve misheard him. I had a habit of doing that lately.
“What?” I searched his dark eyes for the truth that I was desperate to find.
“I said, be my girlfriend, bumblebee,” Trent repeated, looking deep in my eyes.
“N-No,” I stammered, damn it, where was my confidence when I needed it?
“Why not?” His arms were still wrapped securely around me, which he used to pull me closer, closer than I already was.
“Be-Because no, I will not be your girlfriend.” I told him. What kind of a question was that anyway?
“And I’m asking you why?” Oh fuck, he was frustrating.
“You’re asking me why?! The list is so long!” I wanted to kiss him and slap some sense into him at the same time.
“Tell me why, then? Tell me your reasons,” he demanded.
“Should I tell you in the chronological order or in the alphabetical order?” I asked, rhetorically.
“Tell me your reasons why?” He really needed to learn to how to let things go.
“Isn’t a simple no enough for you?” I frowned up at him.
“No. You either say yes or you tell me all the reasons why you won’t be my girlfriend,” Trent stated.
“Fine. Well the biggest reason is that you are my boss and I am your employee, so we cannot be in a relationship because that will not be ethical,” I said.
“It’s my company, I make the rules. No one can question that, so your argument is invalid,” he responded.
“What kind of a company are you running then? If you-the boss-does not follow the rules then how can you expect bitches like Tamara to follow the rules?!” He aggravated me to no end.
“My company, my rules. And since I’m the boss, I choose not to follow the rules. Do you have a problem with that?” He arched his eyebrow, daring me to challenge him.
“Ye-” he kissed me deeply, before removing his lips from mine.
“Wh-” another kiss which silenced me. “Yo-” Trent kissed me once more, shutting me up. “Cu-” just as I opened my mouth, his pressed his lips to mine.
“Tell me reason number two,” he ordered.
Throwing him a glare, I gave him what he wanted. “Well you are clearly an ass and I don’t need to give you proof regarding that. Since the day you’ve met me, all you’ve done is be an ass to me. And I won’t date an asshole, like ever.”
“I told you I’m going to work on myself. I am going to get better,” Trent argued.
“Still doesn’t change the fact that you’re an asshole,” I snapped.
“Actually shady, you’re wrong. I was an ass before, things will be different once you say yes,” he stated.
“I don’t believe you.” I scoffed.
“Changing your mind won’t take me long, don’t worry. Next reason?” His confidence was so loyal to him, never left him in his time of need, which was like always.
“You being my boyfriend won’t change the past. You sided with Tamara, accused me of things without even listening to me. And I know if I become your girlfriend then you will be like those dominant boyfriends who treat their girlfriends like a fucking object,” I said to him.
“You cannot say that, sleeping beauty. You’ve only seen one side of me, I have many other sides to me,” he defended.
“Well one side was more than enough to tell me all about you,” I shot back.
“See, this is wrong. You cannot judge me by just experiencing only one side of me. That is not right,” Trent stated.
“Well you do the same thing. You always called me stupid and judged me based on that,” I retorted.
“I agree. But that is why I want you to be my girlfriend, so I can get to know you better. I want to know you, Amanda,” he replied softly, cupping my cheek.
Say yes, dammit! Say yes, or I will stop working! My heart threatened.
I hated to admit it, but Trent had a point. He was right, we barely knew each other and were making judgements based upon that. I wanted to know Trent, wanted to know all the different shades and personality traits that made him Trent. I wanted to know about the complicated man who made my heart soar and pissed me off to no end. I wanted to solve the puzzle that was Trent Benson.
But I could not do it. Trent had hurt me a lot. Even when he was away for two years, thinking about him always caused me unwanted pain. I was not good enough for him, and I wanted to be good enough for my boyfriend. I wanted to be enough, but I was not enough for Trent. What if he told me how I was not beautiful enough for him? He already refused to publish my pictures in his magazine just because I was not pretty enough. Being in a relationship and investing my heart and feelings in it and then have my heart crushed would destroy me.
“Trent, I just can’t. I can’t be your girlfriend.” I told him.
“Your arguments are meaningless, Amanda. Give me a chance, I am telling you I will prove you wrong,” he responded, he leaned closer.
“Give me one good reason why I should be your girlfriend,” I demanded.
“One.” Trent chuckled. “I’ll give you a million, bumblebee.”
Now it was my turn to laugh. “Yeah right. Prove it. Give me your reasons.” I threw his words back at him.
“Alright. If you are my girlfriend, you will get a lot of kisses, and by a lot, I mean a lot.” He leaned closer to my ear as he said the last part, causing shivers to wrack my body. Fuck me, I loved his kisses. Being his girlfriend would mean receiving a lot of them. It was an excellent reason, but it did not trump my reasons.
“I can get kisses from anyone, what will I get from you that I won’t get from anyone else?” I questioned.
“I cannot tell you that, shady. You’ll only know that once you agree to be my girlfriend,” he replied.
I rolled my eyes. “Alright. Your next reason?”
“If you are my girlfriend then I will keep you happy. I will do whatever it takes to make you smile,” he responded, sincerely.
“Yeah, you might do that for some time before you get tired of making an effort. Next reason.” The hurt that flashed in those dark eyes had guilt stabbing my heart. But it was gone as soon as it had come. I knew I was being a bitch to him. I mean, Trent was asking me to be girlfriend, unlike Theodore who forced Hailey to marry him. Trent was giving me a choice, at least I thought he was. He didn’t come out and tell me that I was his girlfriend.
“I know there are things that you don’t like about me, and if you are my girlfriend then I will work on those flaws. I will try my best to be a better man for you, because you deserve nothing but the best,” he replied.
Now this got to me. Trent wanted to be a better man for me. He said he would try his best to be a better man for me. Shit! I wanted to say yes to him. I wanted to agree, because there was a part of me that wanted to know what it would be like to be Trent’s girlfriend.
“What else?” I enquired.
“I’ll make you the happiest woman alive, sleeping beauty. Whatever you desire, it’ll be presented before you. You will want for nothing. I will make sure you are happy and content for every single second that you are with me. I promise to protect you, to give you whatever you need, whether it is physical, psychological or emotional. I’ll fulfill your needs and wants. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you, Amanda.”
Say yes now or I’m stopping. My heart warned but I ignored it.
Trent’s words had the word yes sitting on the very tip of my tongue. I wanted to say yes, because his words were sincere, there was no hint of malice or falsehood in them. He meant what he said, so I should give him a chance, right? I mean, everybody deserved a second chance, even that bitch Tamara who was somewhere outside fuming or sulking. He might’ve hurt me in the past, but he was willing to change. I should say yes.
However, I could not do it. Trent’s words were true, I knew that; but there was something in me that prevented me from giving in just yet. Maybe I could tell him to prove how serious he was about me. Maybe I would make him work for my acceptance. If he worked hard enough I would agree to be his girlfriend, if not then I could leave without getting my heart broken. After all, he deserved it after all the things he’d done to me.
“I don’t know, Trent. I want to say yes but I just can’t say it. You have to prove how serious you are about me, about us. Only then can I say yes to you,” I said.
“But, you have to say yes, only then will I prove how much you mean to me; and how serious I am about this,” Trent replied, sounding annoyed.
“No. You said you’ll earn my heart. Well now is your time to earn it. I won’t say yes to you until I’m a hundred and one percent sure you will protect my heart and not break it,” I responded, trying to get out of his hold, but not quite succeeding.
“I want you to be my girlfriend. I will earn your heart during the time you are my girlfriend. Say yes, Amanda; I promise you, you will not regret it. I will not hurt you, I promise,” Trent stated.
I was torn. Agreement looked easy and desireable, but disagreement had its own logic and reasoning. Trent needed to know that I was not one of those girls who would be happy being under the control of their boyfriend. I was an independent woman and wanted to be treated with respect. I wanted Trent to know that he could not take advantage of me, in any sense.
Shaking my head, I said, “I can’t say yes, not right now. I need time, Trent.” I finally managed to get out of his hold.
Trent shook his head. “No. Time is not something I can give you, shady. You give me your answer right now.”
“I need time. If I think you can be my boyfriend, I’ll agree, but I need some time to think it over.” I told him.
“I want your answer right now, Amanda. Yes or no?” He asked.
“What part of ‘I need time’ do you not understand, Trent?”
“Give me your answer right this second or you will not like the consequences,” Trent warned.
Ah, and there is the asshole I know so well.
Shaking my head, I marched towards the door, ready to leave. Trent was one complicated man, and despite him telling me that he would get better, I knew it would be a long time before he would actually get better. And who’s to say that he would actually try to get better? Maybe he was lying to me to get me in bed and satisfy his lust. No, I was right not to agree to this. Trent needed to earn this. He should know that demanding for things was not the way to go.
“I can’t do this right now. You are demanding and I will not say yes because you are going to throw a tantrum otherwise. I need time, Trent and you cannot force me to say yes to you,” I stated, placing my hand on the doorknob, ready to turn it.
“You walk out of this door and I will not be responsible for what happens next.” The warning was clear in his words, but my anger had emerged, and it did not care what he had to say. Right now, I wanted to be away from Trent. I needed to be alone so I could think about all this some more.
“Good bye, Trent. I will see you later.” Opening the door I walked out, making sure to close the door after me. Trent could threaten me all he wanted, but in the end my answer was what mattered most.
But one thing was clear. Trent Benson wanted me to be his girlfriend, and I will use that fact to my advantage. He was no longer the one in power.
I was.