Chapter 17
I heed her words and remember them all day. Although I’m not sure how I’m supposed to approach this. Should I stop myself from feeling when I’m with Nick later?
Is that what I’m supposed to do?
Not feel?Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
I don’t know.
I’m thinking about Chloe’s question even as I walk into The Dark Odyssey. I’m early. I get there just before seven. Mimi hands me a red negligee this time, with heels to match.
I can see the grouchy receptionist that’s been here for the last few nights craning her neck to see what I’m wearing. Her name’s Jenna and I think she’s had a thing for Nick, or with him. There’s definite telltale signs in the horrible looks she’s always casting my way. It definitely seems like she’s jealous because she doesn’t know me well enough to look at me like that.
Back in college and high school I always got looks like that. People took one look at me and assumed I was a certain type. Blond hair and big tits always got attention in one way or another. Good and bad.
What I learned was to be focused and true to myself. It was why I worked so hard to become a lawyer. I pushed past what people expected from me and shocked them in my wake.
So this bitch can look at me like she hates me all she wants. I don’t care.
I don’t allow her to bother me. People like that are just details you have to avoid and push out of your periphery to keep going.
That’s what I’m doing tonight.
In my angst-filled mind today, I decided I was going to pay off Hector as much as I can. I’m going to do it.
The money I get here is enough to take care of the house and pay Hector.
What I’m also going to do though is continue my job hunt for something in legal. Anything.
I start work here at seven so there’s nothing stopping me from getting a job during the day. I figured just something to keep me in the loop with the legal world. I’ve already been out for far too long, with my eight months of job hunting. Being at The Dark Odyssey has taken off some of the stress of money so I don’t mind getting any old thing now, or maybe something specific in a niche area that would help forward my career in intellectual property law.
Whatever happens, I can’t lose sight of my goals or lose myself.
So that means potentially I could be out of here very soon.
With my hundred grand a year, I get a net salary of just over eight thousand three hundred. It means I can pay as much as I can and leave as soon as. Maybe even in six months, seven months. Whatever happens I’m determined that next year is gonna be different.
It’s September now and I hope to enter next year with higher hopes than January when I first found out how bad things were and got the threats from Hector.
I get dressed and do my makeup. Nick liked how I looked yesterday.
Jesus, the red negligee is see through and doesn’t have the coverings on my breasts that the gold one had yesterday. I’m wearing red lace panties so they cover me up but you can full on see my nipples and everything through the lace.
It’s actually probably more coverage than I saw on most people last night.
One last look in the mirror at myself and I gear up my focus. I hardly recognize myself. I always look different when I go all out with my makeup. I look like how Chloe dresses every day. Like I’m getting ready for a magazine shoot.
I guess it fits being here as I make myself pretty for him.
I put the heels on and leave the dressing room. Mimi told me to go to the same area I went to last night. The private VIP area.
I put my mask on and head up there.
I get to the VIP area and see Nick standing against a pillar with his brothers. Last night it was just one. Tonight it’s two. Him and the two brothers I saw in his office the other night.
Nick’s got a cigar in his mouth slinked to the side and he looks a little like Clint Eastwood in a western. Although I would figure him to be a little more like James Dean. He has the same vibe as any of those guys, except he has darker hair and is clean shaven. He’s still just as sexy though, sexier because of that badass attitude that surpasses the Hollywood heartthrobs from the past.
Nick and his brothers seem to be in some heated discussion and I can’t help but wonder what they must be talking about.
I hang back on instinct but he turns and sees me and he gives me the same look as yesterday.
When our eyes lock, Chloe’s question comes back to my mind.
If someone gave me the money I need would I still come back?
His brother from yesterday is saying something about meeting later, but Nick doesn’t look at him. He walks over to me and my breath stills. I find it harder to breathe the more he looks at me.
He’s so close his aftershave tickles my nose, so close, I can smell his natural scent that’s all masculine and raw just like him.
He reaches out to touch my face and I lean into his touch. I lean in, submissive, like I’m some obedient servant.
I can’t answer the question Chloe gave me because I’m still scared of the answer. I’m frightened of the answer.
“Nick!” Calls a voice that snaps us both out of the reverie and he turns to his brother.
It was the one that wasn’t here yesterday.
“Salvatore, not now. Not fucking now,” Nick tells him and there’s an element of pain in his voice that reaches out to me. “Tomorrow. I’m busy now. Do not disturb me.”
On that note he takes my hand in that same possessive manner as last night and leads me away.
Instead of the dance floor we go straight to the elevator.
The minute we get inside his lips are on mine and before I know it, I’m naked. I’m naked before we get out of the elevator and he’s devouring me.
He picks me up and I wrap my legs around him as the door opens. When we walk out into the suite, we pass someone who seems to be cleaning and they leave straight away.
Unlike last night, I don’t care that I’m naked and someone saw me. And I don’t care about anything besides him touching me.
He sets me down on the bed and I practically drag off his shirt.
I get lost in him and I forget.
I forget it all once again and I can’t see past him and the worst thing is, I don’t want to.
Hours pass and we’re still like this, like each time we have sex it’s not enough. We both want more.
More and more and more.
By the time the sun comes up, I’m so far down the rabbit hole I don’t remember the way back. All I know is where I am.
He’s sleeping again, sleeping deeper than he was yesterday.
I look at him in his sleep and he reminds me of a fairytale prince.
He looks all perfect and stalwart just like one of them.
I can’t believe I’m with a man like this.
I see beauty, I see light. I see something I crave.
I also see something I can’t have.
The question Chloe asked comes back to me full force.
Would I still come here if the debt was gone? Would I still want him?
That’s more the question I think she intended. The answer is yes, and it scares me.
Him, and all of this… the wild emotion and the lure to forget…
I can’t have it.
None of it.
It’s something I mustn’t have because this isn’t a fairytale. There is no happily ever after in a business relationship like ours. He’s not the prince and I’m far from being a princess.
What I am is desperate and this business relationship we have is helping me out. It’s saving me and my family.
I’m planning to be gone in a few months’ time.
Then this fantasy will be over.
That’s what it is. A fantasy. It’s not good and it’s not bad.
It’s something I can’t quite describe.