Rush: Part One & Two: Part 2 – Chapter 95
“Evangelin?” I ask, and she attempts to wipe away her tears. My heart is aching in my chest, and I’m afraid of what is happening.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Valentina. Just go back inside, belle.” She doesn’t know me if she thinks I am going to leave her by herself when she is crying.
“What’s wrong?” I ask in French, and she lets out a sob.
“It’s a long story,” I put my hand on her shoulder and rub it to comfort her.
“Would talking about it make you feel better?” She looks away from me and off into the distance.
“I’ve never spoken to anyone about this,” she starts, and I take her hand to lead her to the chairs on the veranda. No one is outside, which gives us some privacy. “Gabriel is Carlos’ grandson.”
I swallow hard because I can’t comprehend that sentence. At first, I think she is joking and I laugh, but then more tears flow out of her eyes, making me lose the ability to breathe.
“Fifty-one years ago, a year after Carlos and I got married, he had an affair with an Italian woman. Nine months later, she had his child, but she gave her baby girl up, and only told Carlos about her years later.”
Evangelin stops to let out a sob, and I can’t bring myself to move. Her words have paralyzed me. This is not happening. She cannot be telling me the truth right now. I swallow again to get rid of the lump in my throat.
“I don’t understand,” I croak out when she doesn’t continue the story.
“There was no way to find her, or at least that was what he thought. He didn’t tell me about the affair for ten years and let me tell you, it took everything out of me to stay with him, to forgive and offer him a second chance. Then, a couple of years after, we found out about the baby. Sierra, the Italian woman, wrote Carlos a letter, but we never received a call or any other form of contact. We searched for years, only to find out Carlos’ daughter had a brain aneurysm the summer before.”
Gabriel’s mom had a brain aneurysm. No, this cannot be happening. Everything is getting too complicated, and I still can’t breathe.
“We also found out Carlos has two grandchildren, and one of them is a successful Formula One driver, just like he was. Carlos didn’t have the strength to find out their address. The only name he got was ‘Gabriel’.”
I get up from the chair I’ve been sitting in and try to find a way to start breathing again. I’m convinced I am hyperventilating.
“Then you came into my life, and you told me about this gorgeous man you were in love with, but I would have never expected it would be him. Seeing Gabriel at the store that first time, I couldn’t help how sad I felt. Everything I had suppressed over the years came crashing back, but I knew I had to get a grip. I care a lot about you, Valentina, and I wanted to make this work, but I can’t anymore. It’s painful seeing him.”
Evangelin lets out another sob.
“Gabriel only exists because my husband didn’t love me enough. Don’t misunderstand me, I am so grateful he does because Gabriel is a wonderful young man, and he makes you happy, but seeing him and Jean hurts me.”
I look at her with anger and compassion. The paradox is making my head spin, but I can’t control my feelings. This is too much all at once.
“I care about you as well, but you know I cannot keep this a secret. Gabriel and Jean have lost more people than you will ever understand, and I can’t deny them the opportunity to know about their biological grandfather, to maybe have a chance to have some family.” I run my fingers through my curly hair, get stuck on seven different knots, and groan in frustration.
“You can’t tell them,” she mumbles, and I look at her, only with anger now.
“No, Carlos and you have to do that. I can’t be the one, it wouldn’t be right,” I say, my emotions threatening to overwhelm me.
“Now?” she asks, and I sink onto the chair next to her.
“Please don’t ask me to hide this from Gabriel. It will ruin our relationship, break the trust I have earned by never doing anything like you’re asking of me right now. Gabriel would never forgive me,” I explain, but she shakes her head. “Please, get your husband, Jean, and Gabriel, and sit down with them. I am not keeping this from my family because that is what they are, my family.”
Evangelin looks down at the table, tears still running down her cheeks, and I want to apologize for being so harsh.
“I’m sorry, Evangelin, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. It’s not your fault. I just wish you would have warned me before dropping this huge bomb. You are asking too much of me, and you knew that when you started this story. And it’s okay, just please, I love him too much to keep such a big secret,” I say, and she stops crying. “Imagine keeping something like this from Carlos.” Evangelin looks at me with a soft expression. “You wouldn’t be able to, would you?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
“No, I couldn’t do the same thing he did. It’s too big of a betrayal.”
The tender woman gets up from her seat and walks inside without saying another word to me.
A minute later, Gabriel, Jean, Carlos, and her step outside. I can’t look at any of them.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
“Chérie?” Gabriel asks, his voice soft and worried.
“I’m inside if you need me,” I say and press a kiss to his cheek before making my way over to Adrian.
“Val?” he asks, and I look at him. “I’m sorry about this morning. I shouldn’t have accused Gabriel of bribing people. I know he doesn’t, and I am going to talk to the team.”
I honestly don’t give a shit about that problem anymore. All I can think about is how Gabriel and Jean must be feeling right now.
“All good, Adrian. Don’t worry about it.” He nods, and I force a smile.
“You know I love you,” he says to cheer me up.
“I love you, Adrian, no matter how stupid you act,” I reply, giving him my full attention for the first time.
He nudges my arm, and I grin. It doesn’t feel right, which is why the corners of my mouth drop.
“Luv?” James asks, and I spin around to look at him.
He seems tired. His blue eyes are faded, and I know he hasn’t gotten much sleep.
“I have to go home but open your present and read the letter.” We also make a plan to meet tomorrow to look over the contract.
James disappears from my home, and then Elijah and Cameron do so as well. Everyone else follows shortly after, leaving Adrian and me alone inside the house. Gabriel and Jean are still on the veranda with Evangelin and… their grandfather.
It has been half an hour since they first went outside, and I get more impatient by the minute.
“What’s on your mind?” Adrian asks me, but I shake my head and smile at him.
I feel like throwing up or screaming, or anything to let out the frustration in my chest.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Gabriel and Jean walk through the veranda door. The younger brother has a smile on his face, but my eyes focus on Gabriel. He looks confused and shocked, but he doesn’t say anything.
For one short second, he simply looks at me with too many emotions to identify and then moves upstairs toward my bedroom. I thank Jean for coming, but he is in his own world, probably dreaming about what is to come in the future. I’m glad he’s happy about it, someone should be.
My feet bring me to the steps of the staircase, and I take two at a time to get to my room faster. I open the door to find Gabriel staring at the large canvas I got him. We hung it over my bed a few days ago, intending for it to stay there until he finds an apartment.
“Gabriel?” I ask in a soft tone, and he turns to me with tears running down his cheeks.
They are bright red, and his eyes are bloodshot. A pain shoots through me when I see how devastated he is.
“Everything is upside down. I need time to think, to sort out my feelings.” Another pain courses through me when I realize he doesn’t want to stay with me.
“What can I do?” I ask him, and he looks at the canvas again.
“Nothing. You can’t do anything.” Gabriel walks over to me and puts his hands on each side of my face. “I love you, ma chérie, and I will call you. Just give me some time.”
I want to throw a tantrum, tell him he can’t leave, but he should never feel like he can’t take some time for himself.
“I love you the same, mon amour. Please, please, text me or call me if you need me. I don’t want you to leave, but I understand. Just don’t think you are alone. I’m right here.” Gabriel’s eyes shed more tears, and he takes a deep breath before he envelops my lips with his and rushes out the door.
I can’t imagine how he’s feeling. His mom was adopted. He has a grandfather, who is still alive and well, and maybe a grandmother out there somewhere. She might have more family too. He could have twenty more blood relatives. This could be huge for him and Jean, even for Domi and Nicolette. Gabriel is still in so much pain from losing almost everyone he’s ever loved, and this news, it’s not purely positive. His thoughts are probably spiraling right now… just like mine are.
What are the fucking chances Carlos Klein turns out to be Jean’s and Gabriel’s grandfather? What are the chances of that?
I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Nothing makes sense to me anymore, which is why I don’t bother trying to figure it out. I remove my dress and makeup before lying in bed only wearing underwear. There is no energy left in my body to put on some clothes.
He’s going to come back to me, right?
I lie awake for a long time, unable to keep my mind off Gabriel and what he’s going through right now. Every part of me longs to be with him, comfort him while he processes what he heard tonight. I can’t imagine how he must be feeling, which is why I wish he hadn’t left.
A groan leaves me as I sit up in bed, sliding out of it to grab James’ present and card. I open the envelope first, feeling my heart settle into a calm speed for the first time in hours.
Happy Birthday, my love.
I’m sorry I’ve been distant and haven’t been the friend you deserve. If I’m being honest with both of us, I struggle to be in your presence now. You support me through it all, but you represent something to me that makes it difficult to look into your eyes.
Do you know what’s harder though? Not seeing you. Not speaking to you. Avoiding you because of things that should stay in the past. I want to move forward, and I need you, darling. I need you more than anyone else in my life (don’t tell Adrian I said that), and I’m sorry it has taken me so long to realize it.
Please, forgive me. You deserve better, and I will be just that.
I love you.
James
He was in love with me, imagined a life with me, and wanted to grow old with me. It was a fantasy, a hope even, he had since we were children. When we got older, I may have no longer been the woman in that dream, but in itself, it didn’t change. The principles remained, and this baby turned everything upside down for him.
It ripped the fantasy away, and now, I’ve become the representation he spoke of in the letter. I hate that. I hate how much pain I bring him without being able to do something to change it. It does, however, allow me to understand him better.
Maybe distance wasn’t the worst idea, but neither of us wants that. We’re happier when we’re together.
My fingers wrap around the little gift he gave me, undoing the ribbons to open it. In it lies a keychain with a photo of Adrian, James, Gabriel, Cameron, and me on my eighteenth birthday. I smile to myself and grab the letter and gift, hugging it close to my body.
Finally, sleep consumes me, even if it’s the most restless one I’ve ever had.