Predilection

EVA–Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

My world was spinning, I couldn’t pin point the feeling I had in my gut as I’d responded to his commands, I’d done what he wanted me to do. It felt strange, once again here I was, blindly following his rules. I didn’t know how to feel about it all. I was confused, if he was here, why wasn’t he showing himself, why was he lurking in the shadows? I wanted to see him, to feel him. I needed him, why couldn’t he understand that? All of these questions in my head, unanswered and left to rot as I dug my brain for the none existing answers. I yawned, stretching my arms as I pulled the blanket off me and stood up. I’d slept in, for the first time in forever I’d slept quite alright, no nightmares, no interruptions as my brain shut down and I fell into the depths of the earth. James was probably already here, letting himself in as he usually did, I walked downstairs, the smell of pancakes filling the air, I wasn’t hungry, I had lost my appetite long ago. I strode into the kitchen where James stood with a large smile plastered across his handsome face, I smiled back and grabbed a bottle of water. ‘Good morning sleepy head’ he nudged my shoulder in a playful way. ‘Good morning.’ I threw him daggers, he laughed it off, following me to the table with pancakes on a plate. ‘Eat up, get some meat on those bones.’ He was in a very odd mood and I didn’t know if I could follow up. I shook my head and pushed the plate away, still not used to feeding myself, I ached for my master to show up and feed me, I felt stupid. He shrugged his shoulders and snatched a pancake from the plate that originally was mine. ‘I got you something.’ He smiled at me, a genuine sweet smile. I watched him as he pulled a jewellery box out of his pocket and handed it over to me, I hesitantly took it, opening the box in silence, there sat a beautiful diamond bracelet, my eyes lifted up to meet his, I shook my head. ‘I can’t take this, I mean thank you, but I can’t take this.’ I put the box on the table and pushed it over to him. ‘Yes you can and you will.’ He smiled again, I felt bad. He was being so nice to me yet here I was, not even considering to form anything more than a friendship with him. I felt as though I was leading him on even though I didn’t show him any interest. ‘No, please, don’t do this.’ I let my eyes fall to the table, I felt strange under his gaze. I didn’t want him to be nice to me, I didn’t deserve his pity. ‘What am I doing wrong Eva?’ His question caught me off guard, I didn’t have to take a look at him to know his face had turned serious. ‘What?’ My eyes were still glued to the table, not sure if looking at him was a good idea. ‘I’m trying here, believe me I’m trying but at every turn at every corner, you shut me out.’ Suddenly the room felt too tight and claustrophobia began to creep up on me. I wasn’t used to this, I had adjusted to being treated differently. This, this luxury of complete niceness was not sinking in well. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ I tried to play it off, I wasn’t ready to do this right now. I’d just found out that my master was back and he was watching me, I wasn’t ready to get involved with someone else, I would never be ready for that. ‘Yeah you do, you know exactly what I’m talking about. What’s going on in your head Eva? Is it to do with that no life that ripped you away from me? Who did those flowers belong to Eva? Who sent you that note? Talk to me god damn it!’ I felt angry at his insult towards Kaleb. I didn’t appreciate him disrespecting my master. I could feel the tension build up as he grew more and more impatient with me, unlike master, he was always patient with me, he always took his time, waiting for me to work with him. I swallowed down the uneasiness that had me surrounded, my eyes finding his but my lips sealed shut. I couldn’t form the words to speak, I didn’t know what exactly to say to him.

James’s little rant and outburst had been postponed as the doorbell rang, I froze in my seat, I didn’t know who to expect behind that door. For all I know, I could be coming face to face with master. Goosebumps lined up on my skin with every step that I took towards the door, my heart pounding as I opened it. My nerves settled down when I stared at someone who was not Kaleb. It was the officer that had visited me at the mental hospital. I knew this was going to be a pain as I let him in, he sat on the sofa, his eyes scanning the living room then falling onto James as James walked into the room. ‘Can you give us five minutes?’ The officer spoke to James, earning himself a nod. When we were completely alone, he pulled out his files and some pictures. ‘I’m going to need you to be completely honest with me.’ I shivered at his words as he took the pictures and handed it over to me. My heart lurched into my throat, I studied the pictures in my hands. It looked like a CCTV footage. It was of the day that Kaleb dropped me off near the police station and left. Our faces weren’t clear on the pictures, you could see one half of Kaleb’s face but it was enough to have them putting it under the question. He handed me the picture he had showed me before of Kaleb and pointed his finger onto it. ‘Are the men in these pictures both the same person?’ He watched my reaction, searching for an error, waiting to catch me out on my lie. ‘I, I don’t know.’ I lied. I didn’t know where I was going to go with this. ‘How could you not know? You was with that man minutes before you came into the police station, surely you know who you came with.’ He was dying to call me out, throwing questions at me as he suspected that there was more to this story than met the eye. ‘That day is a fog, everyday is a fog, I don’t even remember how I got to the police station, I don’t know if I had been drugged.’ I lied my ass off, it wasn’t all a complete lie, that day was a fog, I mean I remembered every detail that happened but still, my mind had blurred it out, for it pained me too much to think of it. After a few more interrogations, the officer gave up and left, saying if I didn’t give them any information, any small detail, they couldn’t find the man that held me captive, little did he know, I was protecting that same man, for he had already returned, he was already here.