My Hockey Alpha



I shook my head, feeling a mix of sadness and anger. "I just don't understand what there is to 'process' right now. Our marriage? Our child?"

He took a deep breath, as if trying to find the right words. "I just think we need to make sure we're on the same page, that's all."

"On the same page?" I repeated, feeling a sense of helplessness. "I thought we were on the same page. I thought we were in this together."

"We are, Nina," Enzo insisted. "But we also need to be honest with each other, about our feelings, our fears."

"My fears?" I felt a surge of emotion. "My only fear is losing you, Enzo. And right now, it feels like I'm doing just that."

Enzo reached out to me, but I pulled away. "Nina, please, let's not do this. Let's not argue."

"But we are arguing, Enzo," I said, my voice trembling. "Because you're questioning everything we have, everything we are."

"That's not what I'm doing." Enzo said, his voice filled with a mixture of sadness and frustration.

"It sure feels like it," I replied, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "It feels like you're questioning our entire life together."

"We just need to communicate better, that's all," Enzo said, his voice softer now.

"Communicate?" I scoffed. "This doesn't feel like communication. This feels like you're doubting us, doubting our future."

Enzo looked at me, his expression pained. "I'm not doubting us, Nina. I just want to make sure we're both happy, that's all."

"I was happy," I said quietly. Tears threatened to spill, and it was all I could do to blink them away before that happened. "I still am. But now I'm wondering if you aren't, if this..." I paused, looking down at my belly, where a little life was taking root. "If this whole pregnancy thing is what you actually want."

Enzo sighed as he pulled into a parking spot. "I'm sorry, Nina," he said gently. "I wasn't trying to make you feel that way. I am happy, I'm just... I don't know. I guess I'm still figuring it out. Everything seems so up in the air."

"Well, you only have so long to figure it out," I murmured. "This baby is coming sooner or later, and both of us need to be on the same page. So if you don't want this life with me, then you'd better tell me now."

"I do want this life with you. I love you, Nina. More than anything."

I looked at him, my heart aching. "Then why does it feel like you're pulling away from me?"

"I'm not pulling away," Enzo insisted. "I just want us to be sure, that's all."

"Sure of what?" I asked, feeling a sense of desperation. "Sure of our love? Sure of our future

together?"

"Yes," Enzo said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Sure of everything."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek. "Well, I was sure, Enzo. I was sure of us. But now... now! don't know."Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

Enzo reached out to me again, but I pulled away, feeling a sense of overwhelming sadness. "I need some time, Enzo. I need to think."

"Nina, please," Enzo said, his voice filled with pain. "Don't do this."

But I couldn't stay there, not with all these doubts and fears swirling in my mind. I climbed out of the car and walked into the hotel. Enzo didn't follow me; not right away, at least. And once I was finally alone in the elevator, I finally allowed that tear that I was holding in to slip down my cheek.