Love for the Librarian

“God those two.” I roll my eyes and walk in my house. Of course this is the one time my mother is home. She greets me at the door.

She is a striking woman, a lot like me, only prettier, with blonde hair. “Who were those guys? Why isn’t Polly walking you home?”

“They are friends. Polly wanted to give me some space. I thought you wanted that too.” I give her a stern look. I mean I haven’t seen her in a month, who is she to question who is walking me home.

“What the hell does that mean?” Of course she is going to get stern with me too. I mean she is my mother.

“Mom, when was the last time you actually spoke to me?” I make my tone lighter but I am still agitated.

“Don’t use that tone with me Riley Anderson. I am still your mother.”

“Yeah, you could have fooled me. Why do you care all of the sudden who is walking me home?”

“You are my daughter, of course I care.” Her tone conveys that she is hurt.

“I am going to bed mom. If you are still around in the morning maybe we can talk a little more civilly. I think right now you are pissed about something dad did and you are taking it out on me.” I go to pass her and head to my room.

“No, I am pissed because my daughter thinks I am persecuting her because I asked who the two guys who walked her home are. Shouldn’t that be something that a mother asks? I mean the one guy had his hands and mouth all over you. Are you dating him?” She continues. I swear she wants a fight.

“No mom I’m not. I will not date anyone. I am leaving this town as soon as the ink dries on my diploma. I have made it clear to Dylan that we are just friends. He is just trying to make me change my mind. However it is conversations like this that make me damn sure that I am leaving.” I turn and yell at her.

“Riley,” Her tone has become a lot softer. “I know I am not a perfect mother. Your father and I have some problems. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t love you. I am going to be sad when you are gone. I regret not spending more time with you. Riley, can you please just listen to me for a second.” Even though she had turned softer I was still trying to leave the conversation.

“What mom?” I stop on my way to my room.

“Your father and I are getting a divorce. It wasn’t you we were avoiding, it was each other. I am sorry that you felt that way. I guess I just thought that you had Polly around and it was enough for you.” She isn’t looking at me. I can tell she is ashamed to say what she is saying.

“Mom, I love Aunt Polly but she didn’t give birth to me. There are times I really need you. You were never around. It would have been better for me if you and dad would have divorced years ago if that was the problem.” I finally have an audience for my grief. It is time for her to hear my thoughts.

“We didn’t think honey. We thought it was better to have your parents married and together than to separate. We didn’t see what it was doing to you.” She can hardly look me in the eyes. She is hurt. I can tell that this isn’t how she wants us to be. I mean after all I am her only child.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“I understand. I just wish you would have talked to me before this. Now I feel like it is too late. I am leaving in a month. Not much time left for bonding.” I sigh in defeat. I love my mother. I really wanted a better relationship with her.

“I will be around for you honey. For the next month I will be here every morning and every night when you come home. It is a start right?” Now she looks in my eyes. She is looking for hope I can feel it. I decided to give it to her.

“Yeah, mom, it’s a start.” She comes up and hugs me.

“I love you, honey. Now go get in bed, I know it is finals week, you need your rest.” She pushed the small of my back to usher me to my room.

“How did you know it was finals week?” I look at her shocked, I swear I haven’t seen her in a month, how could she possibly know that.

“I do talk to Polly about you, even when I am not around. Now get to bed girl.” Now she is going to be my mom. Secretly I love it.

“Thanks mom. I have to call Katelyn real quick and then I will be off to dreamland.”

“Good night.” She waves me off. I am glad that she didn’t argue about the call to Katelyn. She could have, but she let me do my thing.

I am glad that we had this talk. Maybe she will be around more. Or maybe it will be a pain in my ass. I don’t know but I will deal with it when it comes time. I only have a month anyway, so not that big of a deal. I called Katelyn as soon as I got in my room and shut the door.

“What the hell? You don’t talk to me anymore. You got you a man now and I am nobody I see.” She is giving me mock anger. I know she isn’t mad. This is just the way that Katelyn is.

“Katelyn shut up. You know I do not have a man. Besides I called you, remember. You are not going to believe who showed up at the library tonight.” I jumped right in.

“Who?” Her tone has changed to one of joy and inquisition.

“Kevin. He pulled some shit about wanting me to tutor him too. So he and Dylan were glaring at each other. Then he insisted that he walk me home too.” I know it sounded jumbled, but it was all spilling out of me.

“Stay away from that ass hat. He is no good. Didn’t your Aunt try to shoo him off?” I know she is irritated with Kevin, not me. I also know the reason for the irritation.

“Oh she tried, but you know how she loves education. He played the study card. She spent the whole night watching the table. Then she left me alone with both of them to walk home. I think she thinks Dylan will protect me.”

“Won’t he?” Katelyn seems to like Dylan. That has to count for something. Most guys don’t make it into her good books.

“I don’t know. I mean most of the time he seems sincere but then there are times when something just feels off. I think there is something he is hiding. Plus I can’t get involved with him anyway. We are leaving in a month. I don’t want to get involved with anyone.” I know I am lying and I am sure that Katelyn can see through it but I have to still try to convince myself.

“Yeah, but you do.” Yep she saw through my shit.

“Katelyn.”

“Come on, admit it. You thought about giving your v card to Dylan.” Again she cuts through the shit. This is why she is my best friend.

“Ok I thought about it, but then I changed my mind. It is best not to do that. No matter how hot he is.”

“Boy is hot.” I love this girl. She is always point blank. I can’t help but laugh.

After my laughter fit. “Thanks for the help. So how am I going to get these guys to leave me alone. I mean it’s not like I want the attention. I am leaving.” Now to the business that I wanted to talk about.

“I remember. I still think you should enjoy yourself before real life begins. There are worse people to lose it to. I mean it could be Kevin for crying out loud.” She hates him. There is no worse person in her mind.

“No thank you. Or I guess that is something that we could have in common.” I mock her. After all she wants to throw shit at me I can throw it right back.

“Oh, God do not remind me. I was not in my right mind. I thought he was being sweet. Plus he is kind of hot. Then after he was a cold asshole. I want to slap his cocky grin every time I see it.” There is the anger that I love.

“I just hope he keeps some distance at school. I mean a study group is fine, but I do not want to hang out with the dude.” I jump on her band wagon. The ‘I hate Kevin’ train. After all, the guy spent a good deal of time picking on me.

“Maybe I should join for the study dates, that way it defuses the tension a little bit.”

“That would be good. Having someone in my corner could be helpful.”

“It’s a date then. I will stick to you girl. Plus it will keep Kevin from getting too far. I told him if I ever caught him putting hands on you I would beat his ass. He knows you are off limits.” Always my savior.

“Thanks Katelyn. I’m going to get ready for bed. Come pick me up in the morning?”

“Sure. I need to talk to my girl without all that testosterone running around.” Then without a goodbye she ends the call.

I quickly change and climb in bed. Tomorrow is a new day. I just really need to get out of this town. It is turning way too complicated.