Chapter 30
But he says: ”But I’m not going to do that until you ask me, because this is not about me, it’s about you.” Was that supposed to be cute in some way? Because it wasn’t. I get out of bed, leaving him not understanding what has just happened. I am at the front door and even though the rain is pouring down I walk down the street and he follows right behind. ”Sky, wait!” He shouts, I ignore him. He catches up to me and holds me, I try to let go but he puts me against the wall and I have no way out. We are getting soaked and my anger grows, even more, he looks me in the eye and says: ”Tell me what is going on?” ”No, I just feel like an idiot for coming here and I hate you.” He smiles. I don’t understand. He says: ”So what are you thinking about?” ”How I’m hating you right now.” He smiles even more and says: ”Great!” Only then do I realize what he wanted. And he has succeeded. He has disconnected me from my current thoughts. I say nothing and start kissing him again.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
He smiles as he kisses me and says into my mouth: ”I think we’d better go inside.” We are getting rid of our clothes as we kiss and bump into the furniture, and I free my mind as much as possible to concentrate on the here and now. But that is easy because his hand has just reached inside my panties. I moan loudly. I had no idea how badly I needed this. And he works his fingers in and out of me slowly, while his other hand squeezes my buttocks and his mouth kisses down my neck. I bite his shoulder to keep him from moaning. He asks: ”Do you want to go to bed?” I find my voice to say: ”No.” He smiles. I don’t realize we’re in the kitchen until he lifts me, placing me on the corner of the sink. My panties are almost halfway down my thighs, so he pulls them completely off my body. My shirt is unbuttoned and I wasn’t even wearing a bra. But he still has his jeans on and is standing between my legs now, as he kisses me on the mouth, down my neck, and onto my breasts. I squeeze my legs even tighter around his waist bringing him closer and feeling how hard he is, while my nails are leaving marks on his back. I pull down the button of his jeans and unzip them. I dip my hand inside his gray boxer shorts, which have been making me have insane thoughts since I got here. I find what I’ve been looking for, warm, soft, and ready, just the way I want it. He works his mouth on my breasts, while I masturbate him slowly. Now I’m not thinking about anything and I love it. There’s only one active thought in my head, and I say it out loud: ”I need you inside me. Soon.” He smiles and his hand is going to the back pocket of his jeans. He reaches for a condom and I ask: ”When did you put that there?” He laughs and admits: ”When I got the wine.” I end up laughing. He puts the condom back on and kisses me on the neck again, making me lift my head back and think of nothing else. I only come back to reality when he penetrates me slowly and deeply. I moan loudly this time. He seems to like it. He comes back to my mouth, as he thrusts faster and faster. I didn’t even know I needed this so badly. But now I realize that I did, in fact, I needed it. You can’t get very far when you haven’t had sex for so long and I end up coming before he does. He continues a few more thrusts before reaching climax. He still kisses my neck, when I am still trying to catch my breath. I say: ”That was good.” He smiles in my ear. I love the sound of his laughter. We stay like this for a while, until our breaths calm down. There’s an awkward silence now, then he pulls away and says: ”There is a bathroom in my room, you can go there and take a shower if you want.” I immediately come down from where I was standing and pick up my clothes from the floor. I feel numb. It feels strange and comfortable at the same time like I haven’t felt in a long time. As I shower, I think that it was great to be here, he was great, the sex was great, but even so, I still feel like something is missing. And I don’t want to think about that right now. As I finish my shower, he knocks on the door and says: ”Here, a towel for you.” I open the door and just stick my head out as if he had never seen me naked before. I thank him with a smile and as I leave the bathroom he also says he is going to take a shower. I put on my clothes without much hurry, still feeling as if I can’t believe what has happened between us. I look once more in the direction of the bathroom and leave the room, leaving only the note in which I thanked him for making my evening so much better. I’m already in the living room, turning the key in the lock when Simon comes in wearing only a towel, with my note in his hand and says: ”Is this serious, Sky?’ I shy away, he continues: ”Seriously you were going to leave without at least saying goodbye?” I am very embarrassed now.
Then I just say: ”I’m sorry, I just…” He interrupts me: ”Forget it. Now tell me why do you want to go out in all this rain?” I look at him like it’s obvious and says: ”I’m going home.” ”You don’t have to go. Why don’t you sleep here? Why don’t you sleep with me?” My breath falters a little. It’s like deja vu. He said the same thing that Yan told me that rainy night. Damn it! These men will drive me crazy yet. He still looks at me and waits for an answer. Doesn’t he realize how bewildered his words have made me? ”Well, I don’t think so.” He completes after seeing my indecision: ”Look, I’m not going to attack you… Only if you want me to.” He laughs, and I end up smiling too. … We’re in his bed. I didn’t ask him to sleep on the couch, because that would be so rude of me, and it’s so cold that it’s no problem for us to sleep in the same bed. Since we’ve already done much more than that in the kitchen. He fell asleep minutes after turning on the TV to watch a movie. I watch him sleep for a while. Simon is nice. Any girl would fall in love with him in a heartbeat, but I can’t. I’m already in love with another guy. I’m already in love with another guy. He reminds me of Yan in so many ways, and for one thing, I think I’m only here because he makes me feel like Yan is around, and I wanted him here so badly. I wish he didn’t hate me. But now I think I’d better go to sleep.